


Doctor Hottie McHotness

by NaughtyPastryChef



Category: Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies)
Genre: Fluff, Headcanon, M/M, Stupidity
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-01-19
Updated: 2014-01-19
Packaged: 2018-01-09 08:10:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,773
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1143608
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NaughtyPastryChef/pseuds/NaughtyPastryChef
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jim has secrets. Some are bad and some are silly; this one is silly and with Bones around there was no way he could keep it to himself.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Doctor Hottie McHotness

**Author's Note:**

  * For [sun_dance](https://archiveofourown.org/users/sun_dance/gifts).



> Itsgoodtoseeyoujim on tumblr requested McKirk headcanons and I submitted this one. She asked if she could write it and I agreed but this popped into my head anyway. She'll probably do a much better job than I did. But, well, I think it's funny.

For someone who had spent his entire life in the spotlight, Jim Kirk had a lot of secrets. He had big secrets and little secrets. He had silly secrets and stupid secrets and shameful secrets. But there was one secret, that no matter how hard he tried to keep it from coming out, always did. He tried everything, from pretending to be shy so as not to have to talk to people to getting drunk every time he was out in public. Nothing ever worked and this is the story of how the secret came out at Starfleet Academy.

So Jim met this guy on the shuttle, crazy-eyed, homeless-looking drunk who was, like himself, significantly older than the rest of the little toy soldiers on the shuttle. But he shared his hooch and was pretty damn funny, in Jim’s opinion. So they stuck together and Jim tried everything he could to keep the guy from “throwing up on him.” It worked too; Jim lived his life by the motto: if you can’t blind them with brilliance then baffle them with bullshit.

So crazy-homeless guy had some old man name, Leonard yeah, that’s right, but it totally didn’t suit him. So Jim dubbed him Bones and it suited him a hell of a lot more. The guy, Bones, was totally brilliant; a Doctor squared. MD, PhD or some such. Jim had a blast trading stories back and forth along with the flask.

When the shuttle landed,Jim had privately dubbed Bones his new best-bud-for-life and made plans to try and catch up with him after orientation. Bones waved him off with a sarcastic “yeah, kid whatever” as he headed over to the medical building to check in.

Orientation was not tough, despite what people may think. Jim was a genius after all, he just had to focus on the work instead of all the beautiful, smart people that surrounded him. He couldn’t afford for his secret to come out this early in the game.

Jim didn’t forget about Bones, how could he, but he got busy and it never occurred to him that Bones would be waiting for him to comm. So, when Jim got back from class about three weeks after orientation to a message, he was shocked to see who it was from.

“Kid, I thought we were gonna stick together here? Plus, you owe me a drink or two for drinkin half my flask on that damn shuttle. Friday night, meet me out front of Fleet Medical and you can pay up. Nineteen hundred hours. See you then.” Jim was thrilled; he needed a friend. His roommate was a total dickwad and his classes were either so easy he was bored out of his skull or so complex that he was already barely keeping up. He usually worked on the tough classes homework during the boring classes to keep himself ahead. He hadn’t had a drink since the shuttle, so it was great timing.

Friday night at 1845 found Jim leaning artfully on the bench outside the hospital and lazily scanning the area for his crazy-homeless buddy Bones. He carefully looked through or around most of the other students in the area, though he was totally aware of the ones that checked him out. He had to keep his options open and maybe, with a friend like Bones super-doc-extraordinaire, he could get some actual help for his little problem.

Too late, he noticed the hottest guy he’d ever laid eyes on walking towards him with intent. He was in the standard-issue cadet reds, but he stuck out of the crowd like no one Jim had ever seen before. He had dark, carefully combed hair, broad shoulders, swinging hips, long legs and, yep a half-turn concluded it, the nicest ass that ever graced a humanoid form. Jim felt his heart rate come up and his breathing turned strangled like he’d eaten peanuts again. He felt his face flush as Mr. Hottie McHotness got closer and closer to where he was standing, but Jim was frozen to the spot and couldn’t move. His pulse increased again as the man in question yelled his name and Jim’s stomach dropped; it was Bones.

Crazy-eyed, homeless looking Bones cleaned up good. Too good. Great and fucking amazing in fact. Bones came right up to Jim, who felt like he was having a heart-attack, and placed a hand on his shoulder giving him a huge grin. Jim took one look at that perfect face, gorgeous hazel eyes, plump lips, smooth skin and felt his eyes rolling back into his head as he crashed to the ground.

“Jim, Kid, can you hear me? Kid, open your eyes, c’mon dammit, open your eyes for me. That’s right.” Jim’s eyes blinked open and he groaned at the pain in his head. He felt dizzy and needed to sit down, but he was already sitting so maybe he should lay down? He must have said some of that out lout because he heard a warm, southern voice crooning in his ears.

“No darlin, c’mon now. You need to stay sitting up for me. Then we need to get you walking over to the med center so I can check you out.” Jim giggled, still out of it from his little fainting spell. Bones wanted to check him out.

Life was not fucking fair. He finds a brilliant, funny, nice guy that he wants to be buds with, who turns out to also be hotter than hell and a doctor to boot. Well, fuck, Jim was so screwed. Then it occurred to Jim what Bones had actually said. He scrambled to his feet, a little too fast cuz, yeah head rush, but tried to look anywhere but at Bones.

“No, really, I mean. I’m totally fine, I just got nervous...I get a bit nervous. So, uh, bar?” He rubbed his hand on the back of his neck, feeling the heat radiating from it due to his epic blushing. He was so, so screwed. And not even in the good way.

“Kid, you just fainted on the damn quad. You are going to medical to get checked out. If you do not have a concussion, then we might go to the bar. Maybe.” He none-too-gently grabbed Jim’s elbow and steered him into the med building.

Bones hovered the whole time Jim what getting checked, but nothing was wrong, Jim tried to tell him that but stupid, brilliant, gorgeous doctor wouldn’t listen. Jim pouted and crossed his arms over his chest like a kid having a tantrum.

“No concussion, nothing broken, nothing even bruised. No anaphylaxis, no reason for the spell at all and now you feel fine, right?” His doctor, Holsclaw who was about ninety and balding, asked. Jim shook his head. He felt just fine, humiliated but fine. His blush still hadn’t receded.

“Well, I say go out and relax then, young man. Get a good night’s rest tonight and if you need to come see me I’ll let the nurse know to note my name in your file.” The doc left the room and Jim studied the wall intently. He refused to look at Doctor Hottie over in the corner, studying him like he was some kind of interesting problem to solve.

“Explain what you meant when you said you got a bit nervous.” Bones growled and Jim felt a shiver run up his spine. No fair his voice being attractive too.

“Sometimes I get nervous around certain things and I just have...ya know, issues.” He heard a muffled “harumph” from Bones direction and chanced a glance over at him. Nope, still hotter than hell on a sunny day, and dammit since when did Jim have a kink for crankiness?

“What kinds of certain things?” The voice was closer than he was expecting and Jim’s mouth went dry.

“You know, like uh, people type things.” Lovely Jim, eloquent as usual jackass. His view of the tiles on the floor was suddenly interrupted by red pants and standard issue black dress shoes. He could smell Bones at this point and he smelled, amazingly, like clean fresh air and trees.

“What kind of people type things?” The words were soft and Jim couldn’t bare to look up though he knew that was what Bones wanted. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath, trying to rein in his nerves.

“Attractive people.” The room was silent. Like dead silent. Like a sensory deprivation chamber. Jim cracked his eyes open and looked into Bones’ hazel eyes shining with amusement.

“Jim, are you telling me that you had an attack of the vapors?” He pronounced it “vapah’s” and raised his voice like a southern belle. Jim’s hackles rose as he forgot to be nervous and began to be pissed off.

“Yeah, well it happens Doctor Hottie! I mean, here I am expecting my crazy-eyed, needs a shave, homeless looking buddy with the good hooch from the shuttle and you fucking show up, okay? How was I supposed to handle that? I haven’t had a drink since that flask you shared with me and I can’t pretend that I don’t know you or am too shy to talk to you so what was I gonna do? I wasn’t expecting you to be fucking hot okay?” When Jim finished shouting he realized what had just tumbled from him and he covered his mouth with both hands.

Bones burst out laughing. Not just laughing, but tears streaming down his face, stomach muscles tensing, bent over at the waist, handsome face turned red howling with laughter. Jim crossed his arms again and pouted some more.

“Kid, you sure got some issues. Boy, if they could see me at home right now. Some hot-shit kid with blonde hair and blue eyes gettin the vapors over lil ole me.” Bones voice cut out with renewed laughter and he fell into the chair by the bio-bed Jim was still sitting on.

  
“I get nervous when hot people approach me. If I’ve got a few drinks in me or I’m the one doing to approach, it’s fine but you...well, I wasn’t expecting you.” Bones sobered up and looked at Jim with speculation in his eyes again. Jim felt his throat going dry at the clearly undressing look he was getting.

“Jim, I think this is the start of a beautiful relationship. C’mon, you owe me a drink or four and a really convincing reason to keep this to m’self.” Jim hopped off the bio bed and jumped when he felt a warm palm on his ass.

“A real convincin’ reason.”


End file.
